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Archive for the ‘60’s’ Category

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The “Menstrual Cramp”


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The “Discreet Armpit Sniff Test”


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The “Hey, What’s That Over There?”


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The “Why Yes, I Do Practice Yoga”

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The “Ambiguous Sexual Orientation”

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The “Waiting For The Mothership”

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The “Oh No, Did I Forgot To Turn Off The Iron?”

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The “Bad News Coach…I Think I Pulled My Quadricep”

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The “Oh My God, I Am Never Drinking Tequila Again”

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Night Of The Flying Ponchos.

Thoughttheponchowasdead

Spectacularterror

Whatfreshhell

Comingforus

Justponchos

Ponchosfromhell

Nolegs

Trifectaofterror

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Anniegetyourponcho

In 1946 the smash hit musical Annie Get Your Gun opened on Broadway. Loosely based on the life of sharpshooter Annie Oakley, the show featured music and lyrics by Irving Berlin. The production opened on May 16, 1946 and ran through February 12, 1949, with a total of 1,147 performances.

In 1969 a new production opened off Broadway. Loosely based on the life of some freak chick named Ann, Annie Get Your Poncho featured “far out” music and lyrics by Jefferson Airplane. This mescaline-fueled production opened on May 17, 1969 and closed sometime around 3:00 pm on May 17, 1969, with a
total of one performance.

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Effortless

Goodness! That Brenda sure is on the ball. I can barely leave the house with my shoes and handbag matching and here she’s gone and coordinated her whole living room with the outfit she has on.”

“I know! And she does it all with such effortless ease too!”

“Effortless ease – that’s exactly what I was thinking! Now do you see why I never invite Brenda over for coffee at my house?”

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Pauline Denham.

Yes, her again. The Pauline Denham of Little Tops Fame.

Time after time Pauline continues to impress us with her choice of hairstyles, makeup, posing and most importantly…props. Oh, and themes too. Like me, Pauline is a gal who enjoys her themes.

Paulinecover

Can you spot the theme of this booklet from the cover?

Take your eyes off the model’s Cinnabon-inspired hairdo for a second and look down at the bottom left corner. “Fairy Tale Book.”

Oh dear.

Paulinegodmother

Ta-daaaaa!

It’s your fairy godsomething!

Paulinepumpkin

“I get three wishes? Well, first I’d like to pose beside a large fake pumpkin while wearing a mohair suit….”

Paulinebears

I think there’s supposed to be something about the Three Little Bears here but the model is totally not having it.

Paulinehood

Oh look! It’s…Little Green Riding…no, that’s not it.

It’s…it’s..Robin Hood?

The Green Lantern?

I’m so confused right now.

Paulineinlovewithabran

Is there some fairy tale I’m not remembering? About a woman who fell deeply in love with a tree branch and lived happily ever after?

Paulinerapunzel

Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your…knitted coat with the enormously oversized buttons!

Paulinegorrila

Once upon a time in a land far far away…Dr. Zaius chose a very special pattern model to help lead the revolution.

Paulineducks

“And then one day the ugly rubber duckling turned into a beautiful latex swan….awww.”

The End.

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Gun_lamp

Got troublesome possums in your tater patch?  Does your Uncle Marvin show up univited to family dinners and get all handsy?  Does that little skank from down the road keep showing up and demanding her tupperware back?

Then what you need is a way to protect yourself.

But let me ask you this:  Do you also believe in the importance of an appropriately lit room? Do you have trouble reading without direct light?

Then what you need, my friend, is a Rifle Lamp.  That’s right.  A Rifle Lamp.  Combining the beauty of subtle illumination with the ability to blow a hole in Uncle Marvin’s sorry behind, the Rifle Lamp is truly an asset to any modern home*.

And be sure to store it near the fireplace.  Ammunition and open flame always make for an exciting combination!

*Rifle Lamp can also be used as a backdrop for stiff, awkward seduction poses.

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Ahoymatey

Ahoy mateys!  What’s that you say? You scurvy rats be craving more from The Big Book of Little Tops?

We are happy to grant that wish!

Here we have the back cover, which is not nearly as good as the front cover. Sure, she’s leaning waaaay back which is sort of funny but not really funny. There’s only so much we can say about a tilting sweater model. What this back cover really needs is a good hat. Or a bad hat.

Newandimproved_1

Yes! It is so much better, am I right?

Of course the nautical nonsense doesn’t end here. Let’s take a peek at some of the little tops inside The Big Book Of Little Tops.

Sailor

Hiya sailor. As you can tell by the desperation in my eyes I’ve been on this beach for such a long, long time. Just me with my knitted Little Top and some blond kid in an even Littler Top that matches my own. No, I don’t know whose kid this is. Look at her, she’s sure as hell not mine. She just keeps following me around and patting my shoulder and I don’t have a blanket to sit on and there’s all this sand that’s gone up my shorts and frankly honey, I don’t care if you do have scurvy. You’re looking pretty damn good to me.

Pirate

Of course, not every girl goes for these sailor types.

Some lusty ladies prefer to go one step further.

Just add a dab of cheap rum behind those ears and the Cap’n will be all too happy to show you his peg leg, if you know what we mean….

Commodore

There’s really not a lot to say about this Little Top except that I hear “Brick House”

playing in my mind every time I look at it.

The lady’s stacked and that’s a fact, ain’t holding nothing back…

Albatross

Ah yes, The Albatross. Because frankly, nobody wants this thing hanging around their neck.

Conchshell

This one is called “Conch” because it’s a little knitted shell top. Like a conch shell! Oh, that Pauline Denham…what a witty broad. Truly a woman after our own hearts.

Personally though, I think old Pauline missed out on a golden opportunity. I know something that would make this little ensemble even better…adding a little pizazz, a little va-va-voom….

Conchedout

Ah. Much better…

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